Heart's Desires in 2016

It's a brand new year and a ripe time to sow some seeds...what do I want to do more of or begin this year?

My body is screaming for a dance class or two; it's time to move and feel the passion from being lost in the rhythm. I want to go camping with my daughters, sleep under the night sky after having looked at the stars through a telescope. Beginning a vegetable garden would be be a fun and fruitful project this Spring and harvesting towards the Fall would be bliss...nothing like eating what you have grown yourself in a salad or a soup...

...and what about learning to surf, or rock climbing or even snorkeling? I look forward to new ways of bringing excitement into my life. Earth is our playground and begs for gentle exploration, so why not do what my heart desires?

#Goals

My first Love...

Dear Google Blog,

I haven't forgotten about you...I promise. You have been waiting now for almost a year...waiting on me to pay attention to you. I've just been so busy, trying to create new pages and spaces for my writing to be seen. But I thank you for how patient you've been. I know without a doubt that I have more than enough journals to find some entries that I could share here and I will.

Before this year is over, I will have you up and running again. For there can never be enough blogs for a writer and you were my first creation. I started you when I went back to school, so at first you were necessary for a grade, but then I began to enjoy visiting my blog page and sharing my thoughts. So I started another Google blog, and two more since...It brings me so much enjoyment when I write...I feel so free, it is totally meant to be...Perhaps that is what I will do, add entries from time to time just so you won't feel neglected...look at me, talking to my blog...I promise I haven't lost my mind, it's just time is what I need, what I crave...and you are the beginning of so much that has transpired and so, I thank you...

Stillness and writing

Here I am, up in the wee hours of the morning...writing, but very happy! I love the stillness of these hours, it seems that I am much more in tuned with my thoughts and can actually share them with ease. This is the best time to write. I would love to say that I wake up at this hour every morning to write, but often I am still asleep. I can change though! Lately, I have felt the desire to put more of a schedule into place when it comes to writing. It is a need and an outlet for me and I always feel so much better when I do it. "How sweet it is to express what is on my mind, no matter what the time."

And this is the beauty of writing, where there is a will there is always a way...it truly doesn't take much for a spark to become a flame.

Limitless possibilities

I'm so happy about how things are falling into place in my life; not so long ago I felt like I needed clarity to figure out what my next move was. I didn't feel like things were moving fast enough or in my favor. It seemed like there was a whirlwind of doubt surrounding me, and I was getting antsy.
It happens that way though, for when we can't see the whole picture, we feel helpless. What I needed to do was be still and know that everything would be fine. I sensed peace in the back of my mind, and the more I rested in it, I began to see things more clearly. But why did I worry? I know now that my life is full of tests and I have to choose how I will respond, sometime it's so much easier said than done, but my response now to things I cannot always control shows me how much I've grown...I love the growth that has been taking place in my life for what it is doing is revealing a deeper part of my soul that has been hidden. But now it is time to shine and shine brighter than I ever have before...The sun feels that much warmer to me, the sky seems so much more limitless and the possibilities to experience more growth in my life are as endless as the sea.

Being me, fully...

I am right in the middle of some deep changes going on in my life...the growth I have been experiencing is like a refreshing breeze on a sweltering day; energizing. Things that used to upset me easily don't hold any power over me, words I used to be afraid to express feel exceptionally good leaving my lips and I am enjoying an awareness about life that I had only dreamed of before. I have been learning so much about perspective, the power of my thoughts and how I choose to relay them. Maybe I am a bit more misunderstood by others these days, but that could be a good thing. Shedding my old skin is enabling me to grow from the restrictions I held onto; I finally feel like I can breathe a little easier as I journey on this new path of self discovery. There is still much work to be done, but I am ready for what lies ahead. I am open to getting to know what lies deep in my heart and soul. I can't fathom the need to control another or be controlled into what another person thinks I should be. I have played that role for many years, crying silent tears, wishing to be fully embraced for who I am but feeling too afraid to go there. Moments of clarity, intuitive insights, and time contemplating my journey has given me the boost that I needed to brave the winds of change. I made excuses, I gave myself more time but I couldn't be truly me when I wasn't in line with my destiny. I long to share my journey, my stories and my words with the world. It is not easy to accept such a task but knowing deep inside what I am being called to do, gives me the drive to push on through.

Sistar Circle

I will represent a new type of internal sensuality among women; we will be fearless, uninhibited, in tuned with our mind, bodies and emotions, and our dreams will be lived out in bliss. I'm so thankful for all of the beautiful sisters in my cypher...from all walks of life. I am more blessed than I can even begin to realize to have so many strong, shining, unique Queens in my circle. They all INspire me in so many ways. I have learned something positive from each of these lovely souls. All of my Sistars have something within them that I see in myself...In essence, we are connected through Spirit no doubt. We are Sistars...let the boundaries fall forever, let us embrace each other where we are; let us come together near or far. 

My Son still shines

Writing is...

I was thinking deeply this week about what writing really entails. There truly is a risk in writing and sharing my most intimate thoughts with the world. There is a chance of rejection, there is a chance of misunderstanding, but what keeps me going is that chance of relating. I have experienced connecting with others through my words and it is a beautiful connection; it creates a bond between writer and reader. I don't group all of my readers in one category, some are curious, some have similar stories and want to share as well, in any instance, I treasure the connection. I thought of what books are to me and what I feel when I read a book and this is what I came up with.
"Books are endless thoughts, experiences, stories (fiction and non-fiction) and adventures spoken from the heart of whomever is writing."
Being a writer means exposing a little more about yourself each time you reveal your thoughts. It is a most humbling risk to take, but so worth it. Writing gives me the willpower to move through life more with fluidity; to take my experiences and share them; learn from them.

I have looked back on what I wrote and saw so much emotion coming out, but then I saw my spirit become lighter with every word written.

Answers in the Ethers

Synchronicity, coincidences, and karma are occurrences that sometime stop us in our day to day thinking to really ponder; what is the message being conveyed? In our lives, sometime we brush aside things that the Universe is trying to show us. It is wise to be still and take in to account what needs to be revealed to us. I most recently noticed a pattern of looking at the time when the numbers are all the same; 1:11, 2:22, 3:33...at first I didn't do much but smile to myself when it would happen but being that numbers have significance I started paying more attention to this new habit of mine. Given all of the most recent changes occurring in my life, it only makes sense that little messages are coming at me from all sources! I'm finding that taking time to just be still, quietly reflecting on what is happening in my life at the moment and pooling all of this information to form a conclusion helps. There could be answers to the very questions I have about something in these subtle yet, obvious little moments of synchronicity.

Breaking the grip and allowing love through

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Free as a bird

I love myself enough to say goodbye to the madness, the sadness that has ruled my life long enough...You will notice some significant changes, in the way I speak, carry myself and most of all in the way I react. That one aspect will be my way of deflecting negative energy right back outward instead of harboring it within. I may have fallen a few times but I will always get back up and be my beautiful, intelligent and loving self. Nothing or no one will sway me.

Going home

My trip home last week was bittersweet; saying goodbye to my great Aunt, and hello to my beautiful family was surreal. I could hear my Aunt's laugh as I looked upon her still form just once more. I cried as I said goodbye...wishing I could have hugged her once more. We celebrated her precious life, by spending time gathered together and remembering what she meant to all of us. I was strengthened by the laughter and love of my family and indeed; we celebrated the life of my Aunt in joy; it was what she would have wanted. She represented happiness and that is what we would remember her in; happiness. We would miss her deeply, but we would always have a piece of her in our hearts. It was beautiful just being together again, with my girls in tow; and watching my mother and niece connect with family they hadn't seen in years. Our trip home to Washington, D.C. was so pleasant. The drive was long, but the love was strong! The love prompted us to move; to get on the road and go where we needed to be. When we arrived I took in the energy of my hometown; allowing myself to just be at peace. The embraces between family and friends; were tighter, longer and I felt my energy levels rising from being in the midst of it all. I was home again...

Lasting, Loving Legacy

I learned yesterday that my great Aunt Elizabeth also known lovingly by her family and friends as "Sweetie" passed away. It was a moment of sorrow, yet thankfulness that she lived a full and beautiful life; and would have turned 95 years old this year. When I think of her, I remember going to visit her as a little girl growing up in Washington D.C. and loving to hear her voice and see her sweet smile. She wasn't dubbed "Sweetie" for nothing. She was one of 12 siblings and was quite close with my grandmother; "they were like twins" is what my mother recollects from her memories, very close to each other. My mother was filled with grief at learning of her aunt's passing and rightly so as my Aunt is one of only two siblings left from 12. I thought of the last time I'd heard my Aunt Sweetie's voice, seen her and spent time with her and I wished I could have hugged her just one more time and that my daughters could have seen her once more. My Aunt dubbed my youngest daughter, "Honey" her nickname for her younger sister; my grandmother. My Aunt Mary and my Aunt Sweetie would always say that my little one resembled their sister so much. Here is a photograph of my little one with both her aunts during the holidays a few years ago, getting some love from her Aunt Mary.

 

 

Now, my Aunt Mary is the last matriarch of the family and missing her sister so much. This week and last, we all had been talking about our Aunt Sweetie and how she loved to laugh, encourage and smile with her family. We knew she had been sick, and talking about the things we loved about her seemed to brighten our moods. She never went a day without her red lipstick and her memory was as strong as a horse. I thought of how difficult it is to be away from my family in Washington and Maryland sometime, wishing that I could spend half the year there and the other half in Florida. It's not easy to be so far away. I could feel warm tears stinging my eyes as I vowed that this would be the year that I indeed go home to spend quality time with my family. Tomorrow is not promised and we have to love with all of our hearts now; in this moment. I know my Aunt felt love from her family, perhaps it is one of many reasons why she lived so long. She had a pure heart, my aunt, and it showed in all that she did. She was a loving mother, sister, daughter, wife, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, great aunt and friend to many. Here is a photo of her celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary with her husband and daughter.

 

 

 

I cherish the memories I have of my beloved Aunt, knowing that her sweet spirit is flying free now. I am also reminded of a quote that basically sums up life itself.

 

My family and I will truly miss this beautiful, loving and humbled woman, and all the memories we all created with her; she was truly a gift to this world. I love you, my dear Aunt...Rest in Peace,
Love Always,
Your great niece, Lisa

Farmer's Market fun

This weekend, I took a solo trip to the Farmer's Market, not too far from my house and it was such a beautiful day that I had to snap a couple of pictures while I was out. I thoroughly enjoyed the sights, the sounds and of course the smells. It's something extra special to be able to take my leisurely time walking around and enjoying the spreads of enticing fruits, vegetables and so much more. I initially made the trip to pick up some Shea butter; a treat in and of itself; for my skin that is. I wanted the real deal, not the overly priced, itty bitty jar that most natural food stores sell, but the big tub of that golden goodness that lasts for about a few months.

 

 

I couldn't wait to get home and use it on my skin; especially when I remembered how long it had been since I bought a jar! I remember how much of a staple it was when I lived in Maryland; especially in the cold winter months. Now that I live here in Florida; it serves as a buffer for the hot sun, it has a plethora of skin enhancing nutrients and it feels so lovely. I strolled along, not in much of a rush and wanting to just drink up the beautiful weather we were having yesterday. I found a Frankincense and Myrrh blend of incense, juicy mangoes and a treat to  drink on the way home. I usually guzzle down coconut water to quench my thirst and they had quite a lot to sample, but something caught my eye; fresh sugar cane juice! I have tried fresh sugar cane, biting into it and feeling the sweetness trickle down my throat, so I knew I was in for something special. And was it ever! It was actually quite sweet; of course, but oh so delicious!  I have been drawn to try many new fruits and veggies that I hadn't before; calla loo, star fruit, papaya, yucca, breadfruit and passion fruit to name a few. I love trying new foods in general, but especially fruits and vegetables that grow in tropical regions. I'm thankful for markets such as these that offer these treats; year round! Next time I visit the market though, I will be getting coconut water; sugar cane juice will have to be a once in a while delicacy!

Introductory video to myself as a writer and my newest blogs on WordPress

Growing inside and out

 



 

I took this picture of my little garden just a couple days ago when the sunshine was hitting it at just the right angle. There is a jade plant, aloe, marigold, begonia, two other flower plants and my tomato plant; growing so wild. I'm enjoying this project of growing and nurturing these beautiful plants; a true reminder of how miraculous life is. Isn't it amazing how a tiny seed situated in the depths of dark, rich and healthy soil can take root under the sun's energizing light and become a plant? No doubt that the elements; sunshine, rain and even wind are necessary to keep plants healthy, but so is love and patience. Love and patience is important when growing plants, and especially vital when it comes to ourselves. How much love and patience do we really have for ourselves? Do we give ourselves enough room to grow and blossom under the sun? One of my plants in particular; the begonia, began to look as if it was on it's last limb; literally. I was considering uprooting it as it was looking so hopeless, day after day. But something interesting began to happen! I noticed there were new, bright green leaves and flowers emerging amidst the dead leaves; showing me that it was still there, still growing. I smiled and I shared the happy news with my daughters. I thought about how I would have missed out on this beautiful transition with my plant if I had decided to uproot it. Patience in the process of our growth is so advantageous to our spirits; even at times that it may appear that we aren't growing, we always are. But we have to have patience and love; constantly encouraging ourselves and each other as we move through life. 

Rest is the best remedy

So, prior to Christmas Eve, I was sick as a dog; in the bed for literally two days straight, attempting to recharge my body through resting, plenty of fluids and some quiet time. My body ached, it shivered from cold, was hot to the touch from fever; and I was overwhelmed with exhaustion.Thank goodness for my mother who was there taking care of me like she did when I was five years old and illness would befall me; serving up iced ginger ale to cool my temperature, orange juice, water, tea and a plate of steaming hot collared greens cooked with red potatoes. My mother is old school and is a firm believer in her home remedies; and rightly so. I ate that bowl of greens; slowly savoring them and remembering the familiarity of their taste over the years; it hadn't changed a bit. It was the only meal I had had for the day as I just didn't have the will or energy to eat much at all; however I had smelled those delicious greens cooking and was roused out of my slumber to make myself eat them when they were ready. I had enough energy to bathe, change my clothes, and come downstairs to enjoy some moments with my mother.

 

It was Christmas Eve and I felt sad that she was watching movies, listening to songs and remembering her previous holiday seasons all alone. It was a struggle as I felt quite lethargic and moving my body from one room to another was such a task. But when I emerged down the stairs, my mother's smile warmed me from inside out and gave me incentive to keep pushing if I was to shake this sickness. She hugged me and I served myself up some of her yummy greens. I literally felt some of my strength returning after the first serving, and as a matter of fact I even had a second serving! My body enjoyed and relished what it received; and thanked me for giving it some home cooked love. My mother and I watched a play together, we talked, laughed a little and shared some memories. I came over to her, hugged her and thanked her for taking such good care of me; she responded with love as she always does when she knows deep inside how much she means to me. I was oh so appreciative that night as I settled in to sleep off the remaining hold this sickness had on me.

 

The next morning I felt noticeably more energetic and got up to shower and wash my hair; feeling more refreshed than the day before. Mentally I knew I had to remember to take it easy even though I was beginning to feel better as I have a tendency to jump right back in the swing of things instead of slowly getting back into the grind. So that is what I did; I ate small servings of hearty soups, salad and lots of fluids. I emerged from my cocoon; which is what it felt like as I had kept my blinds closed and barely any light entered into my windows as I slept through the nights and most of the days prior to Christmas. I noticed my skin had a glow to it; perhaps all of the sweating caused an internal cleansing because I even felt a little lighter; not so weighed down. I felt ready to begin the day, but at a slower pace than usual. I had a beautiful day surrounded by love, which in turned surrounded me with the strength I needed to fuel my body and feel better. While I am still not fully out of the woods; I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's very hard for me to be unwell; but sometimes its during these times that I gain a new perspective; when I'm forced to slow down and rest. My mother said those very words; you need to just rest! I did just that and so much came to me; my mind was clearer, and my Spirit shined brightly through as my body played catch up.

End of year goodbyes; New year rise

December 2013 is finally upon us and boy did this year fly by! 2013 was an amazing year; a year of book releases, poems written, new friendships and connections, and seeing my life in a new light. Viewing my life in a new light has really helped me with seeing others in their own unique light as well. The ways in which I navigate through my life are mine and mine alone but it doesn't make them right for everyone else.

Forgiveness abounded in my heart as I reassessed relationships that I thought were okay in the state they were in but was sadly mistaken. For example; I haven't been as close to my older sister as I could have been over the years and I had been holding on to many grudges from the past. My mother, whom I love as dearly as life itself, but don't always agree with; shared some thoughts with me and I saw things through her light. It's not always easy to forgive, but doing it emptied my heart of resentment and unnecessary pain. Who needs to carry such things into a brand new year? Needless to say, I am very excited about what 2014 has in store for me, my family, loved ones and the writing adventures I will be going on. Not only do I feel undoubtedly excited about what's in store for my life; but I feel more prepared for it. I have an end of the year ritual that I follow and it's quite simple; I cleanse my home, life and mind of whatever is taking up unnecessary space. And as this physical cleansing takes place; an emotional and mental cleanse follows and helps me to have more peace within.

 I recently completed a photo project in which I framed and hung up black and white photographs of my family and friends in my living room; it felt great as I had been planning to do this for the longest time. Every nook and cranny in my home has been getting some extra attention; bookshelves, cupboards, under beds, closets and rooms all included. I also went through my journals, notebooks and other collections of mine to gauge where I am with my writing. There is always a sense of completion and a loud exhale from my lungs when I follow my end of year ritual. The best part of this ritual is opening up to welcome and receive the newness of the coming year. Spring cleaning is a wonderful process as well, but I can't wait until Spring arrives! Winter, although sunny where I am, is the best time to review, reassess and revive my spirit of "old" patterns, items, and ideas that helped me along in my life but are no longer needed.

So, what will all of this cleaning out and releasing prepare me for in the coming year? Well, I will have more clarity, less confusion, less clutter, and more space in my heart, mind and soul for what lies ahead. I started writing down affirmations, my goals and dreams for this unknown yet exciting time to come. I plan to utilize sage to cleanse out my living space and the stagnant energy that has collected over the year on the very last day of 2013, I will open the windows to my home and watch as the smoke floats through them. I will most definitely treasure the memories made, lessons learned, and I will remember what made me smile, laugh and even cry this year; because tears are extremely cleansing to the soul! May the ending of this year be the beginning of a most blissful year for this world and all it's inhabitants.

Plugging on!

So, I have really been out of the loop for the past week as I had one of the most detrimental things happen to me!!! My laptop died on me and I had no way to revive it due to a faulty wire. For those who may have thought something was terribly wrong, I didn't mean to alarm you...I'm happy, I'm safe, I'm loved and I'm going to keep on plugging on! Pun intended!! Needless to say, I haven't been able to accomplish much writing this past week with this minor, yet major inconvenience. Writing hasn't ceased completely for me as I still have my pens, paper, journals and more to keep me going, but it's different when I wake up in the middle of the night with a story burning on my mind and can't type it right away!

The good news is that where there's a will, there is always a way! As a matter of fact, I put in my order to receive a new cord this week and I am at the library typing this up and so I still have an outlet, maybe not at the middle of the night, but this works! Also, I have been coming up with all sorts of ideas, subjects, poems and more to share with my beloved audience, I have missed you! Look for me though this week, as I will still be in your midst with thoughtful posts on my blogs...I am currently working on a weekly self help blog for my readers as well as tweaking my parenting and music blog; basically showing them love by committing to adding at least 2 to 3 posts per week. I am looking forward to the challenge and I know it can be done, especially with all of the momentum I have been gaining lately. It won't be long!

I'm thankful for what truly matters

I thought about the things I am truly thankful for and most of the things I came up with cannot be purchased in a store; black Friday has nothing on what I get for free every day; Love. Love surrounds me in the form of the people in my life who are my family and friends, love greets me in the morning as the Creator pours sunshine through my window over my resting frame; love looks me in my eyes with sincere smiles and laughter from my daughters. I am thankful for who I am, my path in this life, my ability to hear music that strengthens my soul. Music in the form of singing, dancing, instruments and bands are lovely, but I am also thankful for the sound of solitude.

I love the sound of trees blowing in the wind, the sound of water flowing in a lake; taking gratitude on another level for me. I am thankful for the sound of a loved one's voice on the other end of my phone or in person as I face them and give my all in an embrace with them. I am thankful for the peace in my heart, for the newness that each day brings for me to release whatever I need to release in preparation for what lies ahead. I'm thankful for my thinking pattern, for what we think about is energy in one of the highest forms. For the most part, I attempt to clear my head of frivolous and draining thoughts; also known as worry. I do have my moments when I'm not so strong, and I will openly acknowledge that my tears flow, my energy level slumps and I just don't have all of the answers. But something inside of me; my spirit perhaps, reminds me of how fleeting this life is; how having just one more moment to live, laugh and love is what matters in the end.