Beckoning Dreams

I have realized I can only be away from what I truly desire but for so long...I miss being in the midst of birth, new mothers and that familiar energy surrounding sisterhood and working towards supporting women through birth. I have traveled many roads in my young life, trying out different jobs to see what fits, and nothing has made feel more at ease and at home than supporting mothers through birth as a doula and soon to be midwife. It is my calling, my desire and my dream. The more I think about what I really want to do in this life the more peace I feel within for really listening to my spirit. I have to drown out the commotion and the fear in an effort to keep my dream afloat. My heart is lifted, my hands long to write about my experiences on this road thus far and those to come.

Birth is the beginning and it is a journey worth traveling a lifetime for a woman like me. I long to share my stories with other women; of my own births, as well as supporting and advocating for all women. I can't explain the pull that seems to draw me in, but I do know that it makes sense to complete the journey I began years ago as a mother myself and later a postpartum and labor doula. I am a nurturer of new life; bliss and pure positive energy surrounds me when I am present for a birth or for a mother who has recently given birth. I love to listen to what she has to say about her birth, her new baby and how she defines herself. I learn from her and I take mental notes on this unique event in her life. I am blessed to be a part of something so transforming and beautiful.

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Write Now

It has been too long since I've written on my beloved blog...time truly has a way of getting by so fast! I haven't written anything on this blog as of yet since the new year began. I am currently working on two books, one about my relationship with my father and a book filled with my most intimate poems that have been in my mind and in my journals for years. I desire to see them come to fruition. I am ready to take the plunge and go with the flow. I am a writer, this I know and have known for a long time. I write for pleasure and also to express my deepest emotions. The words I write are an extension of who I am, where I've been and where I want to go. I want this badly, I imagine my life in a place where I am writing nonstop, as if time is of no importance. It brings me so much joy to see my words come together to form a poem, a story or even to just release an emotion that is too difficult to express via speech. Writing comes to my rescue on so many occasions and I would be lost without a pen and paper!

Love Pangs

What do I do with these thoughts of you? I don't know what to do, I think I'm in Love with you...I want to awaken your senses, touch every spot on you and see what it does to you...What will happen when I plant soft kisses behind your knees? I want to see passion overtake you so strong that you beg "please" when what your're really saying is please feel free to make a mess of me...Love me all over just don't let this be over-us on a high the sky can't even fathom. Nothing from that point on could ever just be random, every action, every look, every touch would have meaning, like I desire you, feel you, connect with you so deeply...because you allow me to give, to love, to just be me...

When

My mind travels sometime to a place deep within where I have never been before, but I find myself wanting more...of what could be. If I could just be me...allow my desires to surface and become reality-a part of me.

Cherish the day, the hour and the minute

I cherish today, I woke up okay...I saw my little girls sleeping in their beds and I smiled and rubbed their little heads...I thought of just how blessed I am, to still be alive and have a another day to live this life...I'm blessed because the love in my heart is growing ever so strongly...for the simple things, that mean more to me than any material gain...like the sound of my Mother's laugh, the clear blue sky so high, reflecting the vastness of this Universe...in which I can give and share love abundantly...

Rain drops outside my window

The rain pours outside my window and drops hitting the lake resembles thousands of tiny wings fluttering simultaneously. I enjoy the beating sound the rain makes as it escapes from the sky. I'm watching the trees sway as the wind rushes through...thunder rumbles far off in the distance and lightening streaks up the sky...

Life's game plan

I don't feel very valued by you, I feel as if you ridicule all I do...or even don't do. Our relationship is on the decline, must be some kinda fault of mine. I was too loud, I didn't let your words be heard...I should have apologized. I didn't realize I offended you, yet again. It seems I can't keep count of the offenses that have mounted and created a mountain between us. We fuss, we fight but passion overtakes us and brings us to the light, once more, now who's keeping score? We have temporary amnesia for a little while but it won't last cuz that's just our style...Not me though, not anymore, I give that up, I don't want to keep score..I want to stay in bliss like a memorable first kiss and keep smiling inside out with no regrets and no doubt. Life will be new for me this very minute, I plan to live it whether or not you are in it...